Friday, May 05, 2006
The Little Person Who Lives in My House
I spied upon the little person who lives in my house. I followed him from room to room. He marches about in his green rubber boots, shouting out "shooz!" He rushes, quite hurriedly, into the playroom and turns on the television. I sneak away to turn off the other two televisions that he's powered up and abandoned. He proceeds to push buttons until there is nothing more than loud static and abandons it as well. We cross paths in the hallway where he screaches "mommymommymommySHOOZ!!!!!!!" He pushes past me into his bedroom. He puts on a hat and grabs his toy stroller. He announces "hat!" He pushes the stroller past me again and about the house, noticing that one of the televisions he has turned on is now off. He turns it back on. He stands for a moment, in catatonic awe, staring at the screen, before continuing to push the stroller onward. He knocks the stroller over, tossing it to his left, indignant, as if he has just been insulted for the last time. He scans the room for something...not the book, not the horsey, not the dodgie, not the pirates...AHA! The bottle of milk. He picks up his bottle of milk and sucks momentarily, before heading to what used to be our dining room. He sees that the television in that room has been turned off and he turns it back on. He leans against the coffee table, watching his dvd and drinking his milk. He looks over at the coffee table and wonders what will happen if he holds his bottle of milk upside down, over it. The milk drips out slowly, one drop at a time. It doesn't take long until he has a puddle. He wonders what will happen if he smears it around. He puts a hand, which is far to large for such a small person, into the milk and smears it around the table. I blow my cover by crying out in pain, as I remove my foot from a very small plastic pig on the floor. He replies "oi" "oi."