Wednesday, July 18, 2007

What Kind of Mother Am I?

I was talking to one of my "mommy" friends recently, who was telling me about the progress she had made in regards to bedtime with her daughter. It seems that she found a really helpful book, that helped to wean her daughter from needing to be rocked to sleep.

Later that night, while watching Max toss and turn, before finally falling the bed that we all share, I realized how long it had been since I'd been able to rock him to sleep. And I got a knot in the pit of my stomache. A lump in my throat. And I longed for the days when I could rock him to sleep. I would rock that kid to sleep until he turned 15, if he would have it.

So today, I sat in the rocker (which is in our office). I tried to entice Max to joining me, but he was excited to sit at the chair, at the desk, which is normally off limits to him, since that is the chair that faces the computer. Well, I put a Mickey Mouse learning DVD in for him and let him have at it. He was more able to use the "mouse," which is actually a trackball, than I've seen so far. He had a blast. I sat and rocked and watched him for about 45 minutes.

Right now, as I write this, he is sleeping. I'm going to move the rocker back into our bedroom tomorrow. I'm going to see if I can rock him to sleep some night soon. I wonder what kind of a mother I am, trying to recapture the kind of behavior that other moms mark their success in ending.

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