Monday, April 02, 2007

"Sit Down...NOW!!!"

Max has learned the power of issuing an order. He delivers it with the finesse of a military drill seargant. He points, furiously, to the spot where your compliance must be surrendered. Before you can react, he as re-issued the order. Not just once, but twice and even three times more. He is amused and thrilled with the command of his own voice. He is not just loud, but deep and gravelly.

The order comes when he wants you to play with a few of his toys or read a book with him. It's cute. He's too young for any malintent. He just wants your company.

I, on the other hand, was the first to issue such a command. It usually came after several unsuccessful attempts in persuading Max to sit down for some occasion, such as eating. It was delivered with much impatience.

Max is the mirror which holds my image. Sometimes the feedback I get is immediate and other times it must sink in. I shall have to work on my own finesse, patience, kindness and overall delivery.

1 comment:

Somalia said...

Wow, Kathy this is JUST like me & Genai you are correct! We are their mirrors & she recently imitated me & used an impatient voice in saying MOMMY NOW! And it stopped me in my tracks & I just watched her for a few minutes doing an impression of ME or my husband & THOUGHT wow do I sound & look like that to your little self?

And then I thought okay she is imitating me when I have lost patience, because that is not I how I normally speak to her. So from that insight I made a pledge to her & got my husband on board to agree to using this as a guideline. If we are not reacting out of love in teaching Genai then we are acting out of anger or impatience... So WE MUST USE LOVE and CONCERN when teaching her right from wrong NEVER anger or impatience which is the quickest emotion to tap into sometimes with a toddler or a child of any age.

So now before I issue a request and or order to my daughter I take a deep breath & think of HOW I would want to be treated as a tiny little person that has to look up to almost everyone in authority and remember how small she is & must feel when we tower over her spouting to dos and commands.

It's a task but totally worth it to me. As I told my husband BEFORE I becasme a mother and was only a step mom to his son. When children are born they are like little blank tapes and WE AS PARENTS give them all the material to record and we are all they have to learn from. This now is my mantra when dealing with her. So when I see her make this facial expression I say OH MY that is ME! LOL And no I am not always proud but it is a reflection of ME all the same and that keeps me in line MOST of the time. I so enjoy your insight to parenting and it always validates something I am experiencing too!!!!!!!!!!!