"The number you have reached is not in service..."

I was talking to my mother on the phone this evening. Meanwhile, I heard the water running in the bathroom and thought to myself "How lovely, Max is washing his hands before bed." WRONG...Max was drowning the cordless phone. He carried it out to me and said "look!!" And I said "Oh f*#k!!!" So now the phone (that one) is dead. We will be needing a new one. That one had two handsets and that was the only working one left. The only one I have now is a rickety old Uniden in our office. So if anyone can recommend a good telephone, I'm open for suggestions. Oh...and so you don't waste your breath telling me to dry it out with a hairdryer...I already tried that and the darned screws were in that phone so tight that I stripped them. Aargh!!! I also tried canned, pressurized air with the little tube attachment and squirted it in the little nooks that I could get to. No luck. Maybe it will dry out on it's own...I dunno.

Poor Max. I made him go to his bedroom. He asked "mommy, are you happy?" To which I replied, "No Max, I'm not happy." And he asked "are you mad?" and I said, "yes, I'm mad. You broke the telephone."

Little Jack Sparrow

"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. "
--Captain Jack Sparrow



Max was an excellent trick-or-treater. He was quite outgoing. Technically, he was ingoing, so to speak. My task was to keep him from walking into other people's houses. Something he was quite comfortable doing.

The only thing better than his exhuberant "CHRIT-O-CHREAT!!" was his happy and sincere "THANKYOU!" after each little treat made a thunk into his little skull bucket. Max has never been lacking for manners and I was proud of him that night.

His pirate costume was a Disney, Jack Sparrow costume, paired up with some sweats and Ugg boots. Accessorized by his skull necklace, sword, scarf and bucket, he was fully ensembled.

Max had just as much fun passing out candy when we returned to our house. He ran screaming to the door and when it opened, he exclaimed "HI GUYS!!! I GOT CANDY!!" Then he proceeded to put two handfuls into each kids bag! He loved it. I had so much fun with him that night. I can't wait until next year.