Wonder and Amazement

Max is mesmerized by the discovery of a rooster at the petting zoo.

Secure with his Manhood.

While watching Max play with some other children at a party today, I learned the following things:

If you take something away from him, he'll hit you.
If you have something he wants, he will take it, and he may still hit you.
If there is a light sabre or baseball bat in the room, he will find it and bash you with it.
His scream is louder than most.
Chalk tastes good.
Sand must be redistributed from the sandbox to other parts of the yard.
He is secure enough with his manhood to play with dolls.
Sometimes he laughs insincerely and it sounds very phoney.
He likes to be where the action is.
Eating Doritos can give you a clown-ish mouth, resembling the Joker from Batman.
Breaking for milk is a must, but food is a waste of time.

How to Eat a Popsicle - by Max

1. Make sure to choose a very hot day for maximum meltability.
2. Have mommy get popsicle and unwrap.
3. Grab popsicle by frozen part and not the stick.
4. Drop popsicle after being startled by the cold.
5. Yell loudly, as mommy retrieves popsicle, to let her know you want it back.
6. Grab popsicle by frozen part and not the stick.
7. Taste popsicle.
8. Drop popsicle after being startled by the cold.
9. Yell loudly, as mommy retrieves popsicle, to let her know you want it back.
10. Grab popsicle by stick this time.
11. Taste popsicle.
12. Say "mmmmmm" out loud, so mommy knows you like it.
13. Wave popsicle in front of doggie, so doggie knows you like it.
14. Rub popsicle all over face while eating.
15. Rub melted juice all over chest as it drips.
16. Watch closely as drips hit the ground.
17. Drag popsicle on the ground.
18. Protest loudly, as mommy takes it away, to let her know you want it back.
19. Grab newly rinsed popsicle by stick.
20. Give mommy a lick.
21. Rub popsicle all over mommy's face.
22. Insist mommy have another lick.
23. Give doggie a lick.
24. Break popsicle in half.
25. Rub broken piece into cement.
26. Pick remainder off of ground to finish eating.
27. Protest loudly, as mommy rinses you off.